“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” — Epictetus
Knowing yourself and respecting your #values is critically important. Everyone around you are depending on it. So why did it so long to stand up for my truth? First, I had to understand what my truth was.
I grew up in an environment filled with fear and pain, abuse starting at young age, bullied daily for being different, ashamed, not knowing who to trust, and desperately wanting to fit in. Clear messages were driven deep into my psyche—I am not important; I am not valuable; I am not lovable. I learned that the world is an unsafe place, people are not to be trusted, no one will be there to protect you, and it takes sacrifice and hard work to succeed.
My childhood memories were buried and long forgotten, but unbeknownst to me, the 7-year-old girl inside was running the show. She was determined to keep those messages alive, forcing me to prove my worth and do whatever I could to get people to love me. Although my burning desire to #succeed had enabled me to achieve great a deal, the little girl sabotaged any chance I had for greatness.
She taught me to take on different roles to deal with a lack of self-acceptance. As the achiever, our survival depended on collecting undeniable evidence of our worth, so we delivered no matter what. We became the over-indulger and gave endlessly to avoid future rejections. To prevent disapproval, the perfectionist stepped in to ensure we always looked good. Each role spawned from our need to survive the big lie – I am unlovable.
Consciously or not, fundamental #beliefs govern the way we think and act which can prevent us from reaching our fullest potential. The better we know ourselves, the better equipped we are to make necessary changes and become a positive #influence on others.
Who knew that loving yourself is required to become successful. How you feel about yourself directly affects the decisions you make, how you live life, and how you relate to others. You cannot cherish others if you don’t value yourself. Thankfully, you can free yourself from limiting beliefs or a less than desirable self-image. Awareness and motivation flourish with your willingness to risk total self-honesty, challenge old assumptions and beliefs, and have the courage to make changes.
I fully embraced the message I’d heard repeatedly on my road to self-discovery—change your story, change your life—and rewrote my story. Self-awareness has become a daily practice…I reflect, I learn, I act. No longer do I run on autopilot. It’s taken time and dedication, but I’ve learned love myself and to be grateful for who I am and how to express my true self to others.
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To Your Success!
Tracy